hope4grandkids

A Grandfather's Perspective

Page 15 of 16

THANKSGIVING

November 23, 2021 /

To me this traditional November holiday is embodied by family, turkey and football. In the 1950’s I remember my mother started roasting the bird early in the morning. I think in those days it was recommended to cook the daylights out of all meat. Food preparation began just after sunrise. By mid-morning our home had the delectable smell of turkey, giblets and pumpkin pies wafting in the air. I could barely stand the wait. Soon the start of the annual Packer/Lion football game grabbed my attention. It was on the radio and then on TV beginning around age 10 or 11. When listening on the radio I’d toss a football with my brothers. Or, we’d get a short pickup game going in the alley. (Telephone pole to telephone pole field.)

We’d have our grandfathers, two uncles/aunts and three cousins for a mid-afternoon dinner. (Both my grandmothers had died by the time I was two years old.) The food was bountiful and great tasting. Dry meat never bothered me; I preferred dark meat. Plus, there were boat loads of gravy to drench the dressing, mashed potatoes and turkey if needed. Later there was pumpkin pie. My memory is not all that great but I will hazard a guess that other food items made it to the table. Like salad, cranberry sauce, hot rolls, green beans, yams or glazed carrots. (For you of course the rule is to eat your vegetables and try everything!)

Later in life I did get around to sampling different food offerings. They are quite good in their own right but in the end nothing beats turkey, stuffing, potatoes and gravy. My worse Thanksgivings also happened later in life. Nothing to do with the food or football. (Pretty hard not to still suffer from indigestion from that dreaded 1962 game.) A bad Thanksgiving was always the absence of family. In my first year of law school. I did not know anyone well enough to snare an invite to dinner. I remember going out to eat a meal at a Formica table. In subsequent years I went to friends’ homes for Thanksgiving and in Vietnam there was dinner with pals. But, even with companionship I missed family. Thereafter, for years, I cooked the turkey, dressing, gravy and mashed potatoes and loved every minute of the anticipation of seeing family.

So, for those already on board as grandchildren, tomorrow will be a gathering of family with food and or favorite activities as surround sound. There is lots to be thankful for now and for each of you I wish a life long pursuit of happiness. Learn to cook a turkey dinner. Clean as you go. It’s more of a logistics operation than fine dining. A higher edge on a pan roasts the turkey faster. Take time with the gravy. Use an old fashioned hand masher. Nod approvingly at yams, salads and green beans if they make an appearance at your otherwise perfect Thanksgiving dinner.

END OF THE LINE

November 22, 2021 /

I once wrote: “Hospitals are where people go to die.” Not always true of course. Poignant? For sure for me. The thought arose for me when I was twelve years old. My beloved grandfather had stayed at our home for two or three months; dying of cancer. For the first eight years of my life, my family lived in an upstairs flat above “Pap”. He was my refuge at times. He was a widower. I’d sneak to his kitchen by the back stairs in search of stinky cheese. I always loved the smells of food from his flat. Yes, I’d revel in limburger cheese. Or, aged brick cheese. He also had sausages. He had the first TV we ever watched. Such viewings were accompanied by bowls of candy raisins.

At any rate my mother was taxed with caring for Grandpa. He spent the last weeks of his life in my brother’s upstairs bedroom. At the end he was taken to the hospital. It was hard to watch. I stayed in my room. When he and his attendants were outside I sneaked to a window overlooking our front walk. There he was; flat on his back wrapped in a white blanket. For an instant, just before he was placed in an ambulance, he looked up, saw me, smiled and gave a slight wave of his hand. I placed my hand on the window pane but I cannot tell you if he reacted; tears blocked my view. That was the last time I saw him. In those days children generally were not allowed as visitors at hospitals. But, that is where he went to die in my mind.

Another saying about death that stuck with me was “Everyone gets dead sometime” from a John Wayne movie. Reality! If you prefer another thought, I remember reading a quote from a philosopher type who basically said that although he knew full well that we all will die, in the far back of his mind he nursed the thought that he might be the first exception in history.

I never found death to be creepy as in a scary movie. My other grandfather owned a funeral home. I visited him there at times. He’d take us to church in his big Cadillac; gas pedal to the metal “to blow out the carbon”. I played up and down the stairs of the business and around the casket displays with my brothers and cousins. I remember being at wakes and funerals at an early age. I believe I was sixteen when I started working there. Carried caskets, cleaned, cut grass etc. I went on my first corpse pickup within a year. (I believe I washed my hands an extra time or two that night.)

All in all death is not scary movie fear. Yet, it is profoundly sad when it hits home. I found the devilish part to be that it is like a curtain being dropped. Never to be raised again. Ever. That loved person is gone. Forever. Sudden and jarring. There is no getting around that fact. No denying. You need to grieve. You will grieve. You should grieve. But, you will recover. You must recover. You will get to a point in which you are bathed in memories. Healthy, happy memories. Your life still needs to be lived. Towards your final curtain of sadness for a family who has come to love and cherish you. Decades from now. When you are a beloved grandmother or grandfather.

LAUNCH 22 NOVEMBER

November 22, 2021 /

If Papa can figure out how to operate the mechanics of this blog; today is the day. I’ve gathered old e-mails and posts but do not know if they are active or inactive at this point. Work in progress. I will really put my index finger to use today and repeatedly hit the launch button.

Today is a memorable day. It is the birthdate of Papa’s dad. Missed as always. A good day to start.

Today is also a sad day in my memory. I was in college when our US President, John F. Kennedy was murdered in Dallas Texas. (1963) I was a young fan to be sure. I remember the Wisconsin primary of 1960; the debate and the election. When that awful Friday arrived all humor died that day. Chums at school never ceased joking and kidding. We were seldom serious or so it seemed. When Mike came downstairs at our fraternity house and said the radio reported the President was shot the look on his face instantly stabbed at my heart.

I remember wandering towards Bascom Hill around 1 P/.M. and it was as if every building along the way opened its doors to allow grief stricken kids an escape. Tears flowed freely. There was no place to go. Classes were cancelled. Hours later I took a Badger Bus home. I believe the Badger/Minny game was not played the next day. The Packers however, did play. The 49ers were in town. First, we actually witnessed Lee Harvey Oswald shot. Live TV. A horrible week. I’ve often wondered whether the 60’s would have gone so far afield if JFK had lived.

So, finger willing I will use today to start my blog that I hope is positive.

GUNS

November 16, 2021 /

A recent event in the news reminds that you should always adhere to the following: 1. A gun is always considered loaded. 2. Never point a gun at anything or anyone unless you intend to shoot. 3. Keep your finger away from the trigger if you handle a gun. 4. If you ever haphazardly come upon a gun; leave it alone. Don’t touch it. If a friend or other person is present and that person starts to pick up the gun, get far away immediately while cautioning against handling the gun as you retreat. Report the location of the gun to a family member, police or responsible adult. The recent event involved a movie set and a tragic outcome when an actor handled a gun and, contrary to belief, it was loaded. A person was shot and killed.

I briefly had two guns when I was young. For hunting and target use. Hunting never took hold for me and within a few years I gave them to a brother who hunted. If you ever get the urge to hunt or shoot you need to get certified in gun safety by a reputable program. Any gun you acquire must be properly stored/secured. I have no desire to keep a gun at our home for safety reasons. I would not now consider doing so without extensive training.

One more caution: When I was in the army I was trained in the use of both rifles and pistols. On occasion I carried a weapon in Vietnam. Except for training I did not fire any weapon in the military. But, I did learn the valuable lesson of all guns are loaded. At the firing range groups would fire at targets from various positions. I assume hundreds of rounds were fired per session. My recollection is that I’d check to be sure the weapon was empty as did my shooting partner and then also by the drill instructor. I’m not positive but I believe there was possibly a count of ammo distributed and shell casings retrieved. At the end we’d all march to our next fun activity. One fine day we were double timing about a quarter mile down the road and a recruit’s rifle fired off a still chambered but overlooked round. (Thankfully into the air!) Believe me the army was very careful but that damn checked and rechecked empty gun was loaded.

NEWS

November 16, 2021 /

The one area in which there is a glaring difference for our respective generations is with the receipt of news. Good luck on finding reliable sources of the news. I find it extremely difficult right now. However, don’t expect that the US has historically enjoyed solid gold credentials for truth, justice and the American Way from its media. Current day media may believe they stand for truth but I wonder if journalism schools stress objectivity enough. In today’s digital information age it will be harder for you to sift and winnow. Too much is not necessarily a good thing.

When I was young we received three daily newspapers at our house. (Milwaukee Sentinel a nd Chicago Tribune in the morning and the evening Milwaukee Journal.) I admit that my main focus was on the comic stripes or on the sports section. But, for whatever reason I was also interested in politics and current events. I remember “The Joe Must Go” movement; the Soviet invasion of Hungry; the Nixon/Kennedy debates. I heard people say that the three newspapers were identified as republican or democratic. For the life of me I had a difficult time discerning the political leanings of the three newspapers. I also saw no great discrepancy between news stories in Newsweek, Time or US News And World Report which our house received weekly. I believe national TV news initially consisted of 15 minute segments and we received some news from movie newsreels. My mind was a sponge of sorts for news but I don’t recall that I felt manipulated or steered in any particular direction by the media.

In 1968, circumstances arose in which I was able to watch the three major TV network news cast in succession. For 3 or 4 months in a row I watched 1/2 hour segments each of CBS, ABC and NBC on basically the same news of the day. 1968 was a year of great turmoil. LBJ decided not to run for re-election; Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King were murdered; there were riots in many US cities; there were presidential primaries and conventions; all with the Vietnam War and its protests as a backdrop casting a black cloud over America. Lots of news to report. Watching these outlets I never had the sense that I wasn’t getting an accurate telling of the events of the day. After months however, I did get the impression that there was an element of bias via adjective laced descriptions of the exact same facts. Against today’s version of left vs. right on a 1 to 10 scale I placed the networks between 4 1/2 and 5 1/2 on any given day. I felt good about that as news reporting had seemingly come a long way since its “yellow journalism” days. I felt comfortable that I was receiving legitimate facts from all corners.

Through the years it became increasingly clear to me that news reporters are inclined towards being newsmakers. Now the bias in the media is easily identifiable. Worse, I’ve lost faith that I am getting reliable facts in reporting. Slanted bias and conflicting opinions can be handled. But, knowing the truth from the news media is like sorting through trash bins to get accurate information. I have over twenty favorite links to news sources on my tablet/computer. Those are my starting points for research in some cases. Except when rain is reported and it is actively raining against my window, I try to verify “facts” that are reported to the best of my ability. It is no longer a matter of sorting through bias/slants; it is a search for reality itself. Reporters and news sources outright lie. Plain as day they have no shame. I make my judgments in that regard. You must do so also. Use your noggin. Think for yourself and be cautious about “news”.

However, probably the greatest danger comes from the narrowing of the mind of news “viewers”. If a person is placed on the 1 to 10 scale mentioned above, many if not most consumers, confine themselves to news sources within 1 to 10 with which they agree. So, lies are accepted without question if consistent with a position on the 1 to 10 scale. No need to think further. This was brought home to me when someone repeated a lie to me about a verifiable news fact. When asked, this person did not cite any basis for the belief in the lie other than to say, with a straight face, ” I have the best news source.” Don’t look further. No need to sift and winnow in that brain. The dangerous part of rigid thinking is that it precludes discussion within the citizenry. It is not unhealthy to debate and have different opinions. By the way, debate team in high school was useful. And, people wonder why a philosophical divide exists in this country as folks blindly rush to occupy slots 1 to 10.

News, opinions, provocations, outright lies and re-writes of history will swamp you. I find a lot today that is outrageous. You may or you may not agree with that opinion. Stay strong. Keep an open mind. Think for yourself. But, pay attention to current events. It is very important to stay informed as a good citizen; especially when it is time to vote. You need a good grip on factual information in order to exercise that precious right/responsibility.

YURI WHO?

October 18, 2021 /

April 2020

Papa was a senior in high school in 1961. On April 12th my glide towards graduation was interrupted when news of the first man in space broke. Yuri Gagarin, a Russian, made that flight and I for one squirmed at the thought of attending classes the next day. The United States was already engaged in a series of “cold war” competitions with the Soviet Union. The “red menace” had loomed over much of my childhood. We were aware that incineration of all we held dear could occur within minutes. However, I for one did not go to school the next day with fears of nuclear bombs raining down on the Mid West.

Instead I felt trepidation at the prospect of a scolding disguised as a lecture from our science teachers. I remembered shame being attributed to an entire classroom of my chums in 1957 because the godless Soviets had launched “Sputnik” before the US had rockets that were reliably consistent in leaving launch pads intact. Newsreels often had images of rockets blowing up within seconds of ignition or wobbling off course when only hundreds of feet in the air. Our country’s pride in Vanguard rockets evaporated with the rockets’ 70 plus percent failure rate. An especially severe math teacher took us all to task for losing the battle of being the first to orbit a satellite. She demanded we all excel at math and engineering to catch up with the Russians. “Count me out” I thought while nodding my head in agreement. (Teachers are so much more happy if they believe students are listening.) I was taking her math class so that I did not have to take math in college. I had a social science degree in my sights. The three or four kids in class with pocket protectors and a working knowledge of the slide rule contraption took her rebuke to heart. Later I overheard them enthusiastically discuss the nuts and bolts of low level elliptical orbit achieved by Russia that put our Vanguard program to shame. Mind boggling to me so I turned my attention to social matters. (i.e. Girls)

A lesson here. It was not the first time nor would it be the last time there was a gnawing and clenching of teeth over the need to light a fire under an issue of life or death consequences to America. The “sky is falling” pessimists are alive and well. Keep your own counsel. Some of my generation’s “nerds” undoubtedly contributed to research that improved the science of rocket propulsion. Eventually, the giant step of moon landings. It will be bright young students from a current generation who will develop a Covid vaccine. A life saving vaccine will not come from politicians who claim “to follow the science.” And, in another sphere, I’d place my bet for improving the environment on scientists of tomorrow. Celebrities, politicians or a fear mongering teenager from Scandinavia may have loud voices but I’d bet their scientific knowledge is miniscule compared to that of individuals who will actually provide solutions.

WELL, WELL, WELL

October 18, 2021 /

MARCH 2020

This message goes beyond Papa’s old joke as suggested by its title. I discovered there is no longer a need to traverse any parental conduit to reach you. My oldest grandchildren have access to their own e-mail account. Watch out for Papa’s stream of conscious wisdom. Once you become addicted to e-mail it’ll be like I have a highway into your heads. Unfettered access. Don’t buy into the belief that aluminum foil over your skull can block out dangerous concepts. A very doubtful proposal; although I’d love to see you all wrapped up with foil turbans.

I miss everyone. This Covid 19 virus is a pain. All kinds of free time and I can’t go near you. This would have ben an ideal time to hunker down and watch Papa movies. Yes, even black and white films. I spend much of my time reading about so many scientists at America’s great universities , hospitals and research centers racing to uncover treatments and a vaccine for Covid. It boggles my mind and jolts the imagination. Medical progress seemed to take so long in the past. I told you about the lengthy wait to develop protection against polio in my youth. It was such a blessing. Nowadays, it is full speed ahead. I believe a Covid vaccine will be developed sooner rather than later. Keep positive thoughts along with a healthy measure of faith in the dedicated researchers. I try to keep that in mind when facing the high cost of medical treatments and medications. Extensive research facilities are required when developing new treatment drugs.

No school or virtual school is odd. But, perhaps patience will be developed as we all wait and wait. Love, Papa

Purpose Of Blog

October 18, 2021 /

For My Grandchildren And All Other Interested Grandchildren

I hope to share random thoughts intended to amuse and enlighten. Most importantly, I want to encourage you to do your own searches for fun, joy and clarity in this wonderful world. It’s going to be a great life for you.

First, right from the get go, actually well before any giddy up, Nana and I waited and waited, desperately wanting to see who’d pop up to claim the titles of grandchildren. You have been very much loved. Each and every one of you. Holding you for the first time was a thrill. No, Papa did not drop you. One thing is crystal clear to a grandfather: handle with care. It is akin to carrying a precious piece of porcelain. Although you have become or will become too heavy to carry, you remain priceless.

Please do not expect a flow of wisdom from a great sage. I will simply be writing my musings. You have a brain. Use it in pursuit of common sense. It is a worthy quest. Be aware that the least common thing is common sense. When you have the chance, read the plaque affixed to Bascom Hall at the University of Wisconsin that encourages “sifting and winnowing” in search of truth. I’ve always received inspiration remembering that inscription. Your life will be enriched if you perceive, analyze and come to independent conclusions. You will discover no shortages of opinions and judgments others quickly draw from reputed facts and fictions. Be on guard. Many voices can sound quite persuasive though they are heavily dependent on magical thinking or the product of outright deceit. It is up to you to sort out fact from fiction. Strive to make critical thinking an essential part of you.

Remember that the old adage of “taking things with a grain of salt” remains valid. That may be mostly true of strangers but occasionally should be practiced with everyone; including me.

It is quite common to hear that the current generation is going to hell in a handbasket. Don’t fret. It is not the first time this particular opinion has been expressed. Sometimes it is shouted with such vehemence that many lose all hope. Never lose hope. I have hope in the future because I have hope in you.

Covid Anxiety March 2020

October 14, 2021 /

                                                           

In a separate writing of musings that I am preparing to give you, I claim that you have brains. And, to use the brain to pursue common sense. In regard to Covid 19, anxiety of its unknowns is natural. Perhaps a historical perspective is in order.

Contagious outbreaks are nothing new. In the past they created feelings of no defense when they seemed to hit without logic or reason. I know that it is hard to escape thinking about such matters. My brothers and I were in that boat in the 1940’s and 1950’s. However, we didn’t have as much knowledge at our fingertips as is true today. Movie newsreels depicting kids in iron lungs was very disconcerting. Yet, I remember we didn’t dwell on it too much. There were too many fun things to do and talk about. So, when Covid does cross your mind, try to keep your thoughts proportional.

Polio was our scary scourge. For many years its cause was not known. In 1908 it was discovered that a virus caused it. Outbreaks occurred mostly in the summer months from July through September. Outdoor activities were often restricted. There was a belief/myth that a chill got the virus active. I remember an imposed half hour period under the bed covers following a bath. It’s a funny image now; hiding under blankets from a virus. At times, temporary emergency hospitals were created, including inside tents, to accommodate patients. Quarantines existed. If diagnosed, a child was separated from parents for 10-14 days; including needing to view each other through windows as is being seen on TV now. I remember my mother walking door to door collecting money for the March of Dimes. The donations went towards research for a vaccine. In 1952 over 57,000 cases were diagnosed in the US with 3100 deaths.

Then, after all those years, a vaccine was found by Dr. Jonas Salk. He became an immediate hero in our lives. I think he got special permission to field test 2 million kids around 1954. I can’t recall if I was a part of that but I do remember getting the shot around that time frame. A heavy burden was lifted from America’s children.

Today, our medical research abilities are far ahead of those polio times. 1908 to 1953!! They’ll have a Covid 19 vaccine if needed next year in all probability. Effective treatments sooner than that. Wash hands and distance and it will all be behind soon enough. A good feeling; especially at my age. Time will pass for you. It can seem to go by at a very slow pace at your age but there is an end and it will be sooner than feared. Who needs fear?

SOCIAL DISTANCING

September 18, 2021 /

April 2020

Six feet apart seems to be the current wisdom for avoiding spewed Covid. If the average sidewalk is five feet wide, one of two walkers who pass each other must step aside. Seems easy enough. If both step off the edge of a sidewalk then a seven foot gap is created. But, what if there is no sidewalk situation? Innovative minds suggest:

  1. Two muskies
  2. Three badgers
  3. Three upright beer kegs
  4. Five kringles
  5. Fourteen bratwurst

There is a theme here. A place where a sense of humor is appreciated. Finding some fun in this time of Covid. And, so proud when one of you had a quick reply: Hockey Sticks end to end!

Hang in there! Scientists are hard at work for a vaccine.

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