In the past year Papa has flown out of Portland’s airport four times. As I have done in the past the presence of an artificial hip is relayed to TSA personel. That disclosure sends me to the larger body scanner at PDX. Each time my scan then fails and sends me to the next step. I get the full knee to waist and in between pat down. Or, what feels more like a squeeze down. No part of the process takes as long as the explanation protocol. Grasping can be done here or there in private. The jumble of colors on a view screen that reminds one of a Rorschach test is referenced but not understood by me or explained by them. Lots of color down there. Here is what part on the body will be touched and which part of the grabbler’s hands will go where; up and down and all around. Understood?
Okay, okay. Get it over with. Ever since 9/11 who is opposed to enhanced security? Not Papa. There are bad guys out there. Yet, an unsettling feeling has developed. In the past year I have also gone through the I have a fake hip routine at airports in Madison, Chicago, Boston, Raleigh and San Jose. Throw in Halifax and Vancouver in Canada it means six airports failed to give me the full frisk. Which raises questions. Is the scanner at Portland of a better quality or calibrated for extra security? If so, can’t even the bad guys figure out there are airports that are more inviting targets for nafarious entry onto jets? One might suggest that consistency in equipment or protocol at all airport screening sites is a desired goal. If it is willy nilly, is the traveling public as safe as possible?
Papa asks airport security why he only trigers a full monty alert in Portland. That turns out to be the one time he gets consistency across the board. However, the shrug of the shoulders response fails to inspire confidence in me.